Christians are straight up FREAKS
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize