Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
