he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
