He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just invented taco cereal.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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