No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
