As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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