just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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