girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize