Non-Jews are for practice
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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