im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
You left your phone here
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