I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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