omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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