Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize