so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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