Well apparently he's into motor boating.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
