Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
