I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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