So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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