Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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