Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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