Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
