he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
