from now on my penis is your penis
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
