It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
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