So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
how does that bad decision feel?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
