woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
