also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
