I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
