didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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