Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize