In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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