gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
