Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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