You're completely useless in the revolution.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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