why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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