take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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