He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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