Plan B is the new Plan A
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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