did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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