He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
