at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
