Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
