ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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