I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
