We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
