haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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