do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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