I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
