your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
whose parrot is this?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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