I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
