fuck your aforementioned shoe
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
