it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
