sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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