I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
