There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
she peed on how many people?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
