Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
