im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
