Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
