Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
