She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
