FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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