I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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