come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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