I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
